24 May 2008

Unanserable Questions

I'm in a mood today. Not a good one. More......like.....massively pissed off for no reason whatsoever. I found myself yelling at people on the freeway, irked beyond all measure at about a thousand other little things.

Being as medicated as I am, the little things like that don't usually bother me too much. If no one died today, then hey, it was a decent day, y'know? Everything else is a fixable situation. (More or less.)

So why is it that when I'm driving on the highway, I get stuck behind the idiot in the passing lane with their left turn signal going blink blink blink blink driving at 50 miles an hour, instead of the speed limit of 65? They're usually backing up traffic for at least 3 miles.

How come whenever I'm minding my own business, in a store or at a cafe, sitting by myself in an empty spot, some loon comes along and starts a conversation with me? Like in the movies when there's an empty bus, just one passenger, and someone else gets on and chooses to sit next to the only passenger, rather than any of the other 65 open seats. Do I have "talk to me if you're strange" tattooed on my forehead in invisible ink?

Why do men talk to my boobs?

Why is it the end of May and still bloody freezing here? I had to turn the furnace back on, ffs, because it was 58 in my house. Hello?

Why is it that our nearest and dearest know exactly which buttons to push to rile us up, and then why do they push those buttons?

Why do people get facial piercings? I saw two kids yesterday with their lips pierced at the corners of their mouths, each of them with 2 lip piercings. What the hell? Who is going to hire them? Is that a decision that you end up looking in the mirror at 45 and thinking, hmmm, maybe that doesn't look so hot? Imagine walking into a doctor's office, or an accounting firm, and having your CFP certified CPA introduced to you with an eyebrow ring, a nose ring and a lip ring? I'm guessing that unless you run a tattoo parlor, that look isn't going to inspire confidence in your tax professional. Or in your physician.

Why do people get up to give a speech and then say, "Before we begin, I'd like to....."? You've ALREADY started, jackass.

Why can't I knit faster? There are about 36 knitting projects I want to be working on, from this to this to this and this. I'm still searching for a shawl pattern that I will want to make over and over again, in different colors and textures. (Ed. note: good luck with that.)

Why do people say, "I don't want to be an asshole about this, but...." and then proceed to be assholes?

Why do I make so many things more difficult than they need to be?

Why do we call public toilets "restrooms"? I can't think of anyplace where I would want to rest in less than a public toilet. Ew.

Why do people think it is cute to intentionally misspell things, and name their businesses with those misspelled words? Word to the wise: It just makes ya look stupid. Kiddie Kollege. Kountry Kurls. Granny's Kountry Kitchen. Urgh.

1 comment:

Dawna said...

Yay for pissy moods!!! Kill 'em all.