At the core - MY body, MY decision.

I have been saddened and sickened this week by the stories in the news about the murder of abortion provider Dr. George Tiller in Kansas City. Saddened that this man was murdered and sickened by his killer claiming the closure of Tiller's clinic is a victory for the anti-choice movement.

Proponents of the anti-choice movement have been very quick to distance themselves from Tiller's accused murderer, saying that he was not a volunteer, not a friend, not a supporter of Operation Rescue, one of the largest and most well-known anti-choice groups in America. In fact, OR's director, Tim Newman, has been quoted extensively in the press as saying, “This idiot did more to damage the pro-life movement than you can imagine” in addition to, “Good God, do not close this abortion clinic for this reason,” he said. “Every kook in the world will get some notion.” The nasty, cynical side of me wants to say that he's posturing for the media, but since I turn off the news whenever his name or face shows up, I don't honestly know.

Whenever September 11 rolls around, I declare a media blackout in my life, because I can't handle watching the towers fall again. This week, I've been turning off the news because me yelling at the TV or radio does nothing but raise my blood pressure, and won't change the way that these people think.

I find it very interesting that the name Operation Rescue is being wrangled over in court, and the two battling it out for the rights to the name? Are men. Of course. Fellas, when YOU can be raped and get pregnant from it, when YOU can be sexually assaulted by a family member and get pregnant from that, when YOU can actually get pregnant, I'll be much more willing to let you have a seat at the table. Until then, as far as I am concerned, it remains a woman's own personal decision, and not the hobby-horse of over-privileged men.

Poli-sci-fi

Is there a single soul left in the United States (or, frankly, anywhere on earth) who is not sick unto death of the current US presidential election?  Gah.  And: boooooorrrrrrring.  I'm so over it, and I am a political nut. I started this blog yea those many years ago specifically to write about liberal-lefty-politics and the pro-choice side of the abortion debate.

I have not watched a single one of the debates.  I didn't pay attention to a single second of the conventions over the summer, other than the daily recaps I heard on the morning news as I drove to work.  I can't watch McCain.  I want to throw things at the TV when I do.  DH gets really upset at me hurling things at his flat-screen telly, and I like peace and serenity in my home.  I can't listen to Palin.  I scream obscenities at the radio if she's on.  I am making a good-faith effort (really.  No, seriously!) to clean up my language, so that's not good either.

My issue (abortion) is so decisive for me that I. Will. Not. Ever. vote for someone who is anti-choice.  The McCain/Palin team has made it abundantly clear where they stand on this issue. Truth is, though, that I wouldn't vote for him even if I wasn't such a pro-choice advocate.  He's out of touch with reality, out of step with....well, I was going to type 'the American people' there, but it sounds so pompous that I can't type it with a straight face, so instead I will say that he's out of step with ME.

I usually feel that a presidential election comes down to the choice of a lesser of two evils.  Who of the two candidates is going to do less damage during the 4-8 years they're in office? Yes, yes, there are always more than two, but reality, people, reality.  A third-party candidate has about as much likelihood of getting elected as I do of turning into a pretty pretty fairy princess.  With wings.  

I voted for Hillary in the primaries, because the possibility that there might be a female president in my lifetime is too beautiful to resist.  I didn't think she was going to get the nomination, but I wanted to vote for her.  Then, surprise, surprise, she won Ohio.  I was stunned, I didn't think she had a shot.  

Obviously, then, I will be voting for Barak Obama when it comes time to cast my ballot.  I don't feel bad about that decision in any way, and this time I think it is a choice between hope and evil rather than a choice between the lesser of two evils.  I have a hard time not feeling hopeful when I hear Obama speak.  My local paper (a rag if there ever was one) carries Parade magazine as part of its Sunday inserts, and last week's Parade had a small paragraph about what the tax plans of two candidates would mean for income levels from $10,000-$100,00, broken down in chunks of about 10K.  Under McCain?  My tax liability would stay roughly the same.  Under Obama?  My tax liability would DECREASE by over ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS.  $1,000! How can I say NO to that?  I can't.

It seems surreal to me that there might be a minority in the White House.  I'm excited about that.  So many predictions for the twenty-first century have fallen flat; where are our flying cars?  Our jet-packs?  Our vacations on the moon?  Nowhere, that's where.  But people who have been traditionally disenfranchised gaining more and more political power?  That's here.  Fantastic indeed.

35

Tuesday (January 22) was the anniversary of the Supreme Court's landmark Roe v. Wade decision. Thirty-five years of choice for women.

Without a doubt that decision means the most to me of any decisions made in recent history. I grew up under the permissive climate of Roe, and unlike my foremothers have never needed to seek a back-alley abortion. I never lost a college classmate to the horrible complications that arose from those procedures. I never had to live in a world where I was limited in the decisions I could make about my own body.

I have contemplated such worlds, though. They are the stuff of my nightmares. That we would go back to a climate where abortion is illegal is terrifying to me.

The anti-choice folks frighten me a whole lot too. NPR usually makes some mention of the anniversary of Roe when it rolls around, and Tuesday was no exception. They broadcast a story about the "human life amendments" which declare that a fertilized egg is a person, from the second of conception. Bible Belt states, and, surprisingly, Colorado, have these initiatives on the November ballots. Interestingly, most of them never mention the word abortion. Making it easier for the anti-choice movement to get them passed, of course. Remove that oh-so-crucial controversial word, and even folks who are informed about the issue get confused.

According to NPR, some of these misguided attempts at legislation could possibly make it illegal for a woman to have a miscarriage. There's a thought for the folks that call themselves 'compassionate conservatives.' What's compassionate about charging a woman who has had a miscarriage with murder? As if she's not dealing with enough already.

It is so hard for me to be calm about this issue.

The most strident anti-choice folks I've ever met are men. I don't understand where they get off with their holier-than-thou attitude; until YOU can get pregnant....well, I used to say that when men could get pregnant, then they could have a choice. I no longer have such a hard line attitude. But I still feel that the issue is one of control; as I see it, our misogynistic society wants to keep women in their little boxes, keep them from being able to make decisions about their own lives and bodies, keep them from being able to behave, in short, as men do. Multiple conquests and promiscuity are OK in our culture for men. Not so much for women.

Freedom, to make a choice yourself, no matter how difficult that choice may be, is paramount. By keeping abortion legal, we are not allowing the Congress or the Supreme Court, or our individual states for that matter, to make these decisions for us.

Brave New World

What a stunner, Barak winning in Iowa. I'm bowled over. I'm still on the fence for who to vote for in the democratic primary in Oh-hia-ia in March, but by then the point might be moot...with all of the states that have shifted around their primary dates to get more attention (don't get me started) Oh-hia-ia's is kinda late.

I desperately want a female president; ergo, my choice should be Hillary, no? Unfortunately, I just don't think she's electable. The conservatives just hate her, even moderate conservatives like my parents. Which does not bode well for her electability. Barak is so charismatic; he's a new face, with I think near Kennedy-like expectations from those who still have hope for the government in this country. (At the moment, that does not include me.)

I like what he's got to say a whole lot. Wow, is he ever a good speaker! But I like her, too. Quite a lot. For crying out loud, Pakistan, PAKISTAN, had a female leader, as did England, and we have not yet. Isn't it time? She's got the experience; I just don't think he has the experience needed, the foreign policy sensitivity, to be president. If he'd waited 10 years...but then perhaps his moment would have passed.

The closer the date creeps to March 4, the less I can afford to sit on the fence. But watching them both in action...I just don't know. I think it is impossible to watch his victory speech in Iowa and not be filled with hope.



But the fact that she IS a woman, and has fought for women's rights for years, plus her experience mean so much to me. Both of them want to move the perception of America back to where it needs to be around the world. They're not so far apart. For me, then, it is ultimately this: Who is more electable? Who can actually win the White House?

Now if they'd join forces, and one would agree to be vice....that would be interesting.

I just don't know if this country is ready to elect a woman, or an African-American. That makes me so very sad.

Further proof, as if I needed it, of Ohio's Red-Stated-ness.

Many, many, many thanks to Twisty at I Blame the Patriarchy for bringing this horrible bit of news to my attention.

I usually spend a lot of time listening to NPR, reading news websites, checking up on NOW and NARAL, but since I've lost my job and it has been summer and I've been fighting the terrible demons of depression, I haven't been plugged in to the news. So it is with stomach-churning disgust that I tell you about a new Ohio law that is a blow to any woman with a brain, pro-choice or not, this has got to be one of the worst bits of ick I've heard in a while.

Ohio legislators, in their divine wisdom, have decided that "there oughta be a law" that requires, REQUIRES, mind you, a woman to GET WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE POTENTIAL FATHER OF HER UNBORN CHILD BEFORE SHE CAN GET AN ABORTION.

I know what you're thinking. "Oh, no, Lucy, you must have misunderstood. The state of Ohio could not be so stupid to think that a woman does not have the right to do with her own body what she chooses without the permission (permission? are you fucking kidding me?) of her 'owner,' oops, I meant her partner."

And unfortunately, I've got to say that yes, dear reader, that is exactly what the state of Ohio thinks. Read the legislation for yourself. And just in case you think you might slide under the radar and get a male friend to sign something for you, that becomes a misdemeanor under the new law. Do it twice, and it is a felony.

As Twisty rightly points out, this is a part of the 'men's right's' movement. I have a lot to say about that, but it boils down to this.... Ha. And: What-the-fuck-ever. As if men need someone to fight for their rights. Fellas, you run the world and by and large control what goes on over the entire planet. Gimme a break. Mostly, until you can give birth, you don't get a choice or much of a say in the matter. Sorry, but them's the breaks, boyos.

Permission. Wow. We've just taken about 45,000 steps backwards in women's rights. Thanks so much to the legislators who are supporting this bill for making 2007 seem more like 1307. If you are one of my Ohio readers, PLEASE, PLEASE take a second to send your local rep an e-mail urging them to not vote for this piece of crap legislation.

I could go on and on about how it seems more and more like we're living in a totalitarian state, or about how the last time I checked, until someone other than me is paying my bills, they don't have the right to boss me around, or about what incredible bullshit this is, but you've heard it all before.

Until women everywhere stand up and say "NO!" to this type of misguided legislating, it is going to continue. Make your voice heard.

Politics at large

I heard with a twinge of relief that Jerry Falwell passed away this week. And then my years of religious training in guilt kicked in, and I felt horrible for not being sorry that the guy is dead. Of course I am sorry for the family that he has left behind, but the Beeb was playing bits and pieces of things that he'd said over the years that were pretty cringe-worthy. Did you know, for example, that feminists caused the Sept 11 attacks? Riiiight.

OT for a sec, I note that the Beeb really enjoys tweaking people's noses. Wonder why that is? Is it a Brit thing? They seem to really enjoy putting people on the spot in interviews, twisting their words or trying to make them uncomfortable. It is either funny or annoying, depending on my mood.

Then the news that brought me crashing down into the dumps, a report from ABC that talked about the abortion debate and places like Alabama, where they are trying for an outright ban. Or the states that are trying to force providers to offer an ultrasound, which will add to the costs of abortion for poor women, and way to pile on the unnecessary hoops to jump through to get one!

Ohio requires biased counseling and a mandatory waiting period. 'Round these parts, you've got to drive an hour to find a provider, so that makes the whole thing even more costly, either find a hotel to spend the 24 hour waiting period in or spend the $3 /gallon for gasoline to get there twice.

Why IS it that the most vocal, strident anti-choice loons are always men? Self-righteous smug folks, who wave their moral indignation around. The guy in the ABC interview is a very staunch anti-choice fella, and wow, I can't help but wonder where he gets off. Yes, yes, I can finally admit that men have a right to have an opinion on the subject. For a very long time I thought that men shouldn't be able to even voice an opinion about it. When you can get pregnant, sir, then you may have an opinion about it. But that's a bit radical, really, and I no longer feel that way. Sure, you can have an opinion. But keep in mind that it is the woman's ultimate and deeply personal decision.

I remember a cute little web photo that I saw on a forum that said, "May the baby you save grow up to be a gay, Wiccan, black, democrat." Wish I'd kept it. And yes, there's some proof right there that the fan forums are not the only ones I participate in!

WOW!

Many, many, many thanks to Mischa at Church Made Me Stupid for writing a post about this, which caught my attention. Rarely if ever do I do more than one blog post in a day, but this is important enough to warrant a dual post.

Please direct your mouse over to Feministe, and read about an attempted bombing at an abortion clinic in Austin, Texas. What, you didn't catch that in the national media? Oh, that's because "terrorism doesn’t count if it’s directed against women and their health care providers"

Dual standards for everything else in the whole wide world, not just male and female public behavior, but even for the safety of providers for women's health. Good Goddess, what is the world coming to?

Action!

I'm still reeling over yesterday's Supreme Court decision. I've been checking the news wires to see where public opinion falls, and I read a statement that has me thinking. I've read about a dozen wire articles and have a few to link, but first, this quote from Ralph Naes is dead on.

"The reaction to this decision could help educate many Americans who, quite frankly, have grown complacent about a constitutional right to reproductive health," said Ralph Neas of People for the American Way. (via ABC)

And he's not wrong. Roe v. Wade was decided in 1973, a year and a little more before I was even born. I've grown to adulthood with the right to choose an accepted norm. It is only recently, within the past two years, that I've come to understand just how tenuous a right that is. It has hung by a fraying thread for a long time, and I firmly believe that yesterday's decision will cause that thread to break. Which terrifies the hell out of me, the idea that we could push women's rights back into the stone-age era of back alley abortions performed with coat hangers. Do you know how many women ended up dying from unsanitary conditions, from botched procedures?

I want the government to stay the heck out of this issue. Legislating moral issues like this hasn't worked well for us in the past...you need only to look to Prohibition for proof positive of that.

Unfortunately, that's not going to happen, President Idiot and his merry band of zealots will continue to push for a society that is ruled according to their narrow religious beliefs. W has said that he wants people on the federal benches who share his views. Because only people on the right should be allowed to make decisions about women's health. Remember separation of church and state? Anyone? Anyone remember their civics lessons, about a balanced government? Grr, I'm so angry.

Let's move along to some of the news wire articles that piqued my interest this morning before I give myself a heart attack.

Abortion Ruling Emboldens Opponents M live.com

Abortion Fight Coming Newsday.com

Ruling Draws Lawmakers Toward Political Minefield Washington Post.com

Then, of course, there are the wise words of two of my old favorite standbys when it comes to women's issues. NARAL has this article, pointing out the complete lack of regard that the idiot administration has for women. NOW's statement from Kim Gandy is a wonderful bit of language, "Not since Bush v. Gore has the Supreme Court made such a political decision, or one that so completely distorts the law and disregards the U.S. Constitution."

The time is now for action, to get involved. Make your voice heard. Write to your legislators and let them know that you don't support any abortion restrictions. Get involved, get out there, DO SOMETHING so that the right to choose is protected for us, our daughters, our granddaughters.

Listening to: my favorite protest song, "Fight the Power" by Public Enemy

Beginning of the END

A severe blow was dealt to all women in the United States today when the Supreme Court handed down a 5-to-4 ruling, upholding the so-called partial birth abortion ban.

I TOLD YOU SO!

For many years now, this has been one of my greatest fears. That the door would be opened to the anti-choice folks, who are no doubt popping Champagne corks as I type. Any restriction on a woman's right to choose is too much restriction. Any ban on any type of abortion procedure is egregious. It is a slippery slope, which will end in the termination of YOUR right to end any unwanted pregnancy.

I'm not sure if abortion is "right" or "wrong", but what I do know is that I don't want a bunch of old, white men deciding for me if I am allowed to make decisions about my body.

Damn, Sandra Day O'Connor, couldn't you have waited to retire? Damn, Chief Justice Rehnquist, why did you have to die? Those two events were the catalysts that allowed today's decision to happen. President Idiot, who unsurprisingly, praised today's decision, appointed two conservative justices to replace the two who left, and you could hear the religious and fanatical right drooling when he did.

Supreme Court Justices are dangerous people, because they, more than any branch of the government, can have an impact on our lives for a very long time. Supreme Court Justices are appointed for LIFE. So to get a Supreme Court vacancy, someone has to die or retire, and the two vacancies that occurred in 2005 are remarkable for their rarity. Justices can, theoretically, sit for 40 years or more. They are the nine people who review laws passed by Congress, they are the arbiters of what is, and what is not, Constitutional.

In today's decision, the majority opined that the complete lack of any exception whatsoever in the ban for the sake of the mother's health does not preclude a woman's Constitutional right to an abortion. I'd like to know just how the fuck they got to that decision. Because to my understanding, even if a woman's life is at stake, this procedure cannot be performed under any circumstances.

Take note, American Woman. That's how important you are to this administration. That's how much you matter. Your life has that much meaning.

Don't you feel precious?

Ego Bruise

This Tuesday's Brain Dump is of a bit of a different tone that usual. But as I have said, the Brain Dump posts are always going to be about whatever is running around in my head. As Scary says, "So mote it be!"

I was handed my ego back with a bruise upon it the other day. The less said about the circumstances, the better, the latest in a series of cringe-worthy events in my life. It wasn't a personal attack, and wasn't really aimed squarely at ME, but it felt that way. The confident facade that I show to the world every day hides well the little girl who wants to run to her mum for comfort. I have worked hard to have a very confident exterior, hard-as-nails, cool-as-a-cucumber, takes-no-shit, but it started as an act back in my teens. Eventually, I grew to believe my own hype, and now, when I tell people that I was a painfully shy child, they don't believe it. Maybe I should have gone into the performing arts, been an actress. Anyway. I was talking about being bruised.

My first reaction to this bruise was typical: ouch! And then: DAMN! I was angry. How dare the implication be that my time, me!, wasn't worth all that much? Then, predictably, the thought following that was, 'well, screw that, who needs it? Glad we got that sorted before *I* invested anything else in it.'

I went through a couple more stages of various angst before I simply accepted what's been done, and was able to quietly take a deep breath and move on. When I reflected back on it, I thought that this was quite a lot like the stages of grief, as taught to me by my psych profs back in my Uni days.

Thinking about grief always makes me think about my cousin J, who died in 2005 on Mother's Day at 28 years old, leaving behind a husband and three daughters. I've written about it before, here and here, and have no urge to revisit any of what I've already talked about.

I usually wait until the anniversary of my cousin's death to write about her, and it is coming up, but not so soon that it is quite 'time' to scribble about her. Ridiculous notion. As if I'm not thinking about her, randomly, all the time. All sorts of things remind me of her. I even thought I saw her the other day, but when I looked again, the woman looked nothing like her, and remembering that she's gone all over again was a jolt. I think that this year I will refrain from marking the anniversary of her death because she wouldn't have wanted a fuss made, nor would she want to be thought of in terms of the horrible week following her death, I think she would prefer a celebration of her life.

And it is life more than death I'd really like to talk about. How strange it is, what a juxtaposition it is, that as much as I celebrate being alive, and think that life itself is proof of some higher power, our heartbeats and our every single breath a little miracle, that I am a passionate advocate for the right to die, palliative care, and abortion rights? Plus I'm an agnostic, that does certainly not believe in any patriarchal organized religion, or 'God' in the sense of the male, Judeo-Christian supreme being.

I'm thinking about the Idiot Administration's catch-phrase, "Culture of Life" when they talk about the anti-choice movement. As if anyone who does not buy into that crap believes in a culture of 'death'. I'll say this for the republicans, they've got the better spin-doctors of the moment.

Anyway. I've wandered far afield of the original intent.

Which was? Oh, that having my ego bruised the other day, being hurt, was almost a reaffirmation of being alive. I have been feeling mostly numb over the past few days and that bump was a wake-up call. I've been hurting so much in the past couple of months, in such a bleak and difficult spot mentally, that I have not felt much of anything. I *don't* want to go back on antidepressants, something I've been able to stay away from for more than two years, but this little bump I've got on my soul reminds me that if I have not been feeling pain, I have not been feeling joy either. Not feeling joy is worse than not being able to feel any pain. Sometimes it WOULD be preferable to be numb than to be in so much pain, but that even keel of no pain/not too much joy is very elusive.

I also don't really want to share this information with anyone outside of the computer, because as easy as it is for me to blather on about me, me, me in real life, it is very hard for me to articulate this vague something-terrible-is-going-to-happen feeling, this sort-of despair, when my life is pretty fucking fantastic, and I have no right to complain. Employed? Check. Married? Check. Roof over my head? Check. Good friends? Check. Enough to eat? Check plus... Good relations with most of my family, no abusive past or addiction problems to over come? Check. So grow the hell up already, Lucy, and get your head out of your ass.

That's the easy answer. Too bad it isn't the right one. When I do figure out what the right one is, I will let you know.

Listening to: Incubus, Morning View, "Are You In?"

Blah. And meh.

The winter storm dumped about 9 inches of snow on us. I went in to work, having no other choice, and spent the whole day doing....nothing. Work was dead, due to the weather. Blah. Boring.

And then on the way home, I was listening to NPR, and I heard a story that has me thinking about the original reason that I started writing this blog, the abortion debate.

In all honesty, I cannot comment about this story because I am not qualified. There are a bunch of states that have passed what are called MISSing Angels laws, which is legislation that gives the parents of a stillborn child a right to a birth certificate. Otherwise, a death certificate is issued, but no birth certificate. I went searching for my own birth certificate, out of curiosity, and sure enough, across the top of it, it says, "Certificate of Live Birth". Therefore, at a stillbirth, one would not be issued.

I don't feel that I can comment about this because I am not the parent of a stillborn child, and far be it from me to say that I understand what these people are going through. Unless you have lost a child, you could never understand what these people feel. I will say that the idea makes me both uneasy...and very sad.


Uneasy, because the anti-choice people have been trying for years to get the law to recognize a fetus as a person, which ipso facto, would make abortion murder under the law in all 50 states, with blatant disregard to Roe v. Wade. The right to have an abortion hangs by such a tenuous thread in this country that any movement towards the anti-choice side could break that thread. And that scares me. As I have said time and time again, faced with an unwanted pregnancy, I have no earthly idea what the heck I would do. My answer to that question has changed over the years, as my life situation has changed. When I was single, 17, and starting college, the answer might have been radically different from the answer that I might give today, at over 30, happily married, with a job that has health insurance. I really don't know what I would do. What I do know is that I don't want a bunch of old white men deciding what I can or can not do with my body.

Sad, because as a woman they interviewed for the story says, she doesn't want to be in the midst of the abortion debate...she just wants a birth certificate for her baby, stillborn at 8 months gestation. I could hear the pain in her voice, and it breaks my heart. There are no easy answers here. Meh.

Listening to: Snowplows driving past, ice breaking off of my gutters, tires spinning in unplowed snow.

The United States of Jesus-Land

Well, really. What did I expect? I am working out at the YMCA, after all. The Young Men's Christian Association, for those not in the know. And what does that get me? Well, for one, it means that I don't have to look at people working out in hotpants and or super-small muscle t's, which is a good thing, but it also means that when I sign up for one-on-one time with a personal trainer the person is likely to be an evangelical, seeing as they work at the YMCA. And when I say "people" working out in hotpants, I mean you super-skinny 17 year olds who whine about being fat when you weigh less than 100 pounds.

Yes, ladies and gents, I had my session with my new trainer yesterday, and she's a lovely woman (who has 5 kids ranging in age from kindergarten to 21, yikes, that's gotta be with the crazy-making) and she told me that God loves me and that I am worth it. "I am an agnostic", I told her, with a perfectly straight face. She actually visibly twitched. Which is really funny in a very mean-spirited way, and reminds me all over again that I am indeed living in the midst of the USJ, the United States of Jeeeeeesus Land.

Friend J reminds me all the time that the freedom of religion that the US Constitution grants us is not freedom FROM religion. True, true. But I dislike having YOUR religion shoved down MY throat at every opportunity. If this woman twitched when I told her about my agnostic leanings, d'ya think her head would explode if I told her about my activism for abortion rights? I suppose all that begs the question that if I feel this way, why am I using the YMCA's facilities to tone up my fat ass? Honestly, because it is the nicest, newest, cleanest and best-run facility in my suburban hell. The locker rooms don't stink, there is a very nice sauna (which is VERY important to me), the cardio and weightlifting equipment is new, well-maintained, and the group exercise classes offered run the gamut from simple aerobics to Tai-Chi and Pilates. My other options are small facilities without nice saunas, Curves (shudder), or meat-markets where you can't spend 5 minutes on a treadmill without leisure-suit Larry coming on to you. One local gym actually has a bar in the gym. Not a juice bar, a real booze and do-you-come-here-often kind of bar. Nice. So yes, I continue to use the YMCA and then complain about the Christian contingent in the YMCA. I know, I know.


The trainer and I spent some time talking about my frustration about the fact that I've lost six fucking pounds since I started working out 6 days a week. She suggested some changes that I am going to implement, and she and I used all the resistance machines and figured out proper weight settings for me for each of them. What I wanted from the session was to have a program designed for me to follow that is going to get me some results, and hopefully that's what I got. She suggested upping my daily cardio from 30 to 45 minutes, gradually, and upping the resistance on the elliptical machine that I've been using. She also told me that the other cardio machines in the cardio studio don't bite, and that I should change up my regimen all the time to continue to get results. So I have to stop avoiding the steppers and try the rowing machines. I didn't this morning, but I will. I did up the time I did cardio to 35 minutes, so that's a start. She suggested a schedule for working each muscle group that I plan to follow, and showed me the right way to fill out the forms for tracking your progress. All that is good. She also claims that the weight will begin to fall, that I need to stick with it and I will see results. At the moment, I'm feeling like that is utter bullshit, but I am not going to walk away from it now. I'm at a crossroads when it comes to my health. I can give up, and be an overweight American for the rest of my life and in all likelihood be an insulin-dependent diabetic within the next 3 years, or I can get off my ass and get moving, be the sexy skinny thing I used to be. I was so inspired by watching my Swedish friends run the NYC marathon, and I want to be THAT girl again, the one that people whisper, "she's sooo pretty" when I come into a room, and that does not happen at my current weight. So I'm up off my ass and moving.

The religion thing really bugs me because I want to have freedom FROM religion, and living where I do, that's just not possible. I think about trying to explain the religion/politics connection to someone from another planet, and come up empty every time. The separation of church and state is a fantastic idea, but in reality, religion and politics are so tied together that there is no separating them here in the US. I want to make some broad sweeping statement here that all conservatives are religious nuts, but that simply isn't true. And some liberals have deep faith. The fact that organized religion permeates nearly every facet of our Judeo-Christian society is something that is simply inescapable. Annoying, but inescapable.

On to something else. I saw the most beautiful sunrise this morning. I tried so hard to look at that and let my spirit soar, but I've had tears in my eyes most of the day. The sister that's moving to St. Louis leaves tomorrow, and I'm both angry and sad about it. Angry because that is easier than being sad. Stupid, I know, but there it is. I'm having trouble breathing again, and this time it has nothing to do with my asthma. I'd rather feel nothing at all than feel this unruly sea of emotions that run the gamut from really pissed off to hysterical sobbing. Not that I think that's really a solution, but it is a thought.

Another side of the abortion debate

Something I read has me thinking about the abortion debate again. There’s so much I want to say about this, but I’m struggling to find the right words. Also, I don’t want to mention the specific details of the case, because I think the woman is having a tough enough time without the anti-choice league trolls harassing her. She wants to terminate a pregnancy, and she is having a very tough time obtaining an abortion. The fetus that she is carrying has a fatal genetic flaw, and will not survive the pregnancy, nor would it be able to survive outside of the womb in the extremely unlikely event that the pregnancy lasted full term. Let’s leave it at that and see if I can say what I want to say without being any more detailed.

While I firmly believe that you should be able to obtain an abortion with the snap of your fingers, I also firmly believe that this is a decision to not be undertaken lightly. For this woman, I’m sure that the decision she came to involved much soul-searching and an agonizing internal debate. Ultimately, however, the only “right” choice is whatever choice she makes. There is no right or wrong answer here.

What I most emphatically don’t want is for legislators or religious leaders to be able to make that decision for any woman. I’m angry that she’s getting the runaround from her medical professionals, but I know that their hands are most likely tied by laws in her state that make an abortion harder to obtain. Ohio, for example, has laws on the books that require counseling and a mandatory 24-hour waiting period, and we’re not the only one. My source for this information is NARAL, of course. When I first found out that Ohio gets an F in women’s reproductive rights, I had to look at other states to see where they stood, and the states around Ohio also mostly have failing grades as well. Thirty one states have laws on the books that require abortion providers to give women biased counseling, and mandatory waiting periods, so we’re in a majority there. And then there’s the ban on abortions that Ohio passed, we’re the only state in the nation with an enforceable law on the books to prevent D & X abortions. We can thank our anti-choice legislators for that one.

I can understand the anti-choice folks opposing people using abortion as a method of birth control. I don’t agree with that any more than I agree with someone having six babies born addicted to crack. You might maybe wanna get your tubes tied if that’s what you’re doing. If you’re going to have sex, use some protection. For heaven’s sake, you can get AIDS or any number of sexually transmitted diseases besides getting pregnant. But should you find yourself in the position of wanting to terminate a pregnancy, you should not have to jump through innumerable hoops to satisfy the letter of your state’s law.

In my ever so humble opinion, this is yet another reason that abortion needs to remain legal, whether or not you think personally it is ethical or not. How could you ever think that it would be better for someone to carry a baby to term, knowing it couldn’t survive outside of the womb, knowing that a genetic flaw would prevent the pregnancy from coming to a full term? She should just wait for a miscarriage? Give me a break. That’s a serious miscarriage of justice, if you ask me.

I went to school with someone who thought that there was never a case where abortion was justified. I remember talking calmly to her about cases of rape or incest; she thought that it was perfectly acceptable for a 15 year old who was raped by her stepfather to have to carry the baby to term, give birth to the baby, and then give it up for adoption. That’s a wrong answer.

I remember a case that I followed in the news (this was a few years ago) about a couple that forced their teenage daughter to be a surrogate mother for them. They knew that she wouldn’t be able to obtain an abortion under Ohio law without parental consent, so they knew she would have to give birth to the baby. And they thought they’d get off scot-free. They did end up being prosecuted for what they did to her, but by the time they were on trial, she was in her 20s, married and with a family of her own. The news in the case was all about the failings of the child protective services agency in that county being unable to protect her, but I was thinking about her inability to make decisions about her own body, (thanks to the state of Ohio) the whole time the trial was going on.

I can’t help but wonder if our society was different, if men had the babies, if we would even be having this debate. I also can’t help but wonder if I was a man where I would stand on the issue. I like to think that men don’t get an opinion, but that’s because the most strident anti-choice folks I’ve met are men, and assholes to boot, who want to tell me that I’m a baby-killing whore who is going to hell for not sharing their ultra-conservative beliefs. My usual response to that is that when men can have the babies, then they can make a choice. The reality is that men do often have a stake in the process; what if your girlfriend gets pregnant and you want a kid and she doesn’t? Or the other way around, she wants it and you don’t. Mostly, I don’t feel bad for guys caught up in a situation like that, I’m much more worried about protecting the woman’s rights. Which isn't fair, but that's how I feel.

I’m angry that it has to be so tough. I’m angry that we still have to fight about it 30 years after Roe v. Wade. I’m also angry that I don’t see younger women organizing and working to make sure their own rights are protected. I’m 31; where are the 18-24 year olds? If you are interested in doing work for the cause, please check out Save Roe, Planned Parenthood, and NARAL.

Have a nice weekend...it is supposed to rain rain rain rain in Ohio.

Soundtrack: Fight The Power, by Public Enemy, from Fear of a Black Planet

A funny.

I've been spending inordinate amounts of time reading Dooce.com lately, and freely admit to totally being a stalker fan of hers. When she opens up the comments, I will sit there and read all 500+ of them, because her fans are funny people too. So I found this in the comments for her recent post on hate mail and laughed my ass off. Enjoy!

Update...
aparently, I'm completely an idiot, because I can't get the link to Dooce to work. The website is www.dooce.com. I've tried to fix it twice and it posts as wellbehavedwomen.blogspot.com/dooce.com, which isn't a website at all. Coy and paste it into your browser, please.

Wondering if the world's gone mad

Yes, indeedy. Its been a heck of a week and it isn't over yet. I'm wondering if there's a full moon all week, cause things couldn't be crazier. First, to start the week off, I was called into work at 4 am on Sunday. Yah, if that ain't the best way to start the week, maybe it could only be better by having my annual OB/GYN exam first thing on Monday morning. Which I didn't; I have that on Friday. Remember that 80's song, "Baby I'm the Lucky One"? I think it was maybe by Amy Grant...feels like it must be the sarcastic theme of the week, although strictly speaking I'm not crazy about Amy Grant. Anyway.

I've added some links over on the right, found a funny funny european blogger named Zoe, check her out, she is hilarious. Have you ever followed blog links from one blog to the next and suddenly discovered that you've lost 3 hours? That's how I found Zoe, I'm not even sure of the path that I followed to her front door in Brussels. I also found an American expatriate living my dream life in Stockholm that way. I'm waiting to find out if it is OK with him to link his blog here. I AM senstive to those who might not like my political leanings, really. I know that they're allowed to disagree with me, and I also know that they're just wrong. :-p

I was having a chat with one of the few other pro-choice folks that I know and she was telling me about a South Dakota law that was passed which bans all abortions. Egad, has the world gone totally mad? And how did I miss this? The bill was signed into law on March 6th! And the first time I heard about it was yesterday. Anti-choice folks are hoping that it will be challenged by Roe v. Wade supporters, because that way it will be sure to come before the Supreme Court. We all know how much the court has changed recently and the hope of the anti-choice folks is that it will considerably weaken Roe. May I remind you all to run along to Save Roe and support them in whatever manner you are able?

My first article on Fit Fare will post on Friday (that's tomorrow), do check it out. I wrote a cookbook review and had my sister and my BF read it for me, before I submitted it. BF reminds me yet again that I have problems with run-on sentences....I know. Sigh. I'm working on it, really. But I'm really excited about the new venture, writing a weekly article for FitFare. Up next is an article about low fat party appetizers, which will probably spill all of my party hostess secrets...Most of the things that I make for the parties I have ARE low fat, and I just don't tell anyone. And then they don't know they're eating healthy! I like to fool people that way, and then relish their facial expressions when they find out that the cute little canape that they ate wasn't bad for them. Gotta run...

Predictions: I HATE it that I'm right on this one...

Remember a few weeks ago when I suggested that we all breathe a sigh of relief because the Supreme Court had announced it was sidestepping the right to choose issue? I distinctly remember typing, "the Supreme Court sidestepped another Roe v. Wade case, for which we can all breathe a sigh of relief, but the thought occurs to me that eventually, they're going to stop sidestepping it, and step right into it." About a month ago, matter of fact. And I was right!! Yesterday, the Supreme Court announced that it would hear another so-called "partial birth" abortion case. Here's the link to the NPR story where I heard about this distressing turn of events. Once the issue is in front of the court, no amount of writing your senators or marches or protests will change what the high court will do. They aren't elected officials, so they're not dependent upon lobbyists or election cycles...which is why it is so important to have a balanced Court. Damn George Bush! And damn both justices that left. Sandra Day O'Connor, we still need you on that bench!!!! I know, the old Chief Justice didn't have a choice about dying, but honestly, the man couldn't have had worse timing. I was chatting to friend K yesterday and we were both trying to remember the words to the serenity prayer, you know, that they use over at AA? Says something along the lines of “dear God, please grant me the power to change the things I can, the grace to deal with the things I can’t change, and the wisdom to know the difference.” So I can’t change what the Supreme Court will or will not do, and I don’t think I have the power to change it all by myself, so I’m trying to stop losing sleep over it. Right. But I think that there ARE some things I can do, and one of them is to support NARAL. I surfed over there this morning and noticed a sidebar that said the United States gets a D- grade in the status of women’s rights. It says you can check YOUR state, so I looked up Ohio, and no surprise to me, Ohio has an F. I’ve said before that I often feel like the only pro-choice person that I know. But no shocker here, our governor the criminal is anti-choice, the Lt. Gov is anti-choice, and the Attorney General is anti-choice. Then we have this long list of laws that help to restrict a woman’s access to an abortion. I decided first out of curiosity and then out of desperation to check on states that I or anyone with a car could get to from here, and Pennsylvania also has a failing grade. Michigan got an F, so did Indiana. Kentucky also has an F. Much to my surprise, West Virginia got a B. I’ve always thought that folks there were more conservative than Ohioans, my bad. I cannot believe the amount of restrictions that states have placed on women’s rights. Mandatory waiting periods, parental or spousal notifications, biased counseling and restrictions for women who live below the poverty line are the NORM, rather than the exception. THAT is something I can do something about, and so can you. Write to your state legislators and let them know how draconian you think these restrictions are. Find a sympathetic ear in a liberal politician, and encourage her or him to roll back restrictions that make it harder for women to exercise freedom of choice. I do have to mention this just because, but don’t you think that if the issue involved male reproductive rights that we wouldn’t even be having this conversation?

Oh, and of course I had to check on some of my European counterparts, just because, and whaddya know, the Swedes allow abortions for any reason. Belgium appears to be pretty liberal on the issue too, and isn't it funny that I found this info on an anti-choice website? I'm NOT linking to them because I don't want to hear about what a baby-killing whore I am. Not today, anyway. Cheerio!

President Doofus strikes again- - - -I'd like to vomit now, please.

Yes, I know. I posted once already today. And about a very serious topic. But on the way home listening to NPR I heard something I hadn't realized. Today's the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and do you know that the president gave a speech via telephone to supporters of the anti-choice movement from Manhattan, KS, where he is giving a bigger speech defending the domestic surveillance program? Argh, he irritates me. Him and that whole "culture of life" catch-phrase. Which makes it sound as if anyone who does not see eye to eye with him believes in a culture of death. Come on. They played a snippet of the speech as part of the hourly update of the news, and I can't find the link to that particular story on NPR. Here's a bit of it copied from someplace else, "President Bush called and spoke with marchers, 'We're sending a clear message to any woman facing a crisis pregnancy: We love you, we love your child, and we're here to help you,' Bush said. The president touted numerous pieces of pro-life legislation he's signed and renewed his call for a ban on human cloning and for Congress to pass a measure respecting parental involvement laws. 'Because human life is a gift from our Creator and should never be used as a means to an end, we will not sanction the creation of life only to destroy it,' he said."

HAS THIS MAN EVER HEARD OF SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE?!?!?!? Please, please, contact your senator via NARAL and encourage him or her to VOTE NO FOR ALITO!

I like the bit about "we're here to help you" cause apparently, he's never heard the old joke about "I'm here from the government to help you" either. That made me snort my on-the-way home diet Coke nearly out my nose when I heard him say that. I do like it that the idiot's on the defensive in Kansas today, take a listen to today's Fresh Air where Terry talks to James Risen and Eric Lichtblau about the story in the New York Times. He SHOULD be on the defensive. Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Public, if you have friends and relatives in Islamic countries, he thinks it is perfectly OK for the NSA to listen along to your conversations. Also, run over to Save Roe and support them in whatever manner you are able. Sleep tight.

In which I hold forth at great length about the death penalty

The death penalty. Doesn’t get much more serious than that, does it? Just like there are no tasteful September 11th jokes, there are no tasteful death penalty jokes. So even though I want to make some flippant remark, because I’m a smartass by nature, I’m holding myself back.

I believe in the death penalty, for many reasons, but first let’s talk about how I think it oughta be expanded. Yes, expanded. I think that if you are a serial rapist, a serial pedophile, a chronic child abuser, or even someone who commits vehicular homicide on your 16th DUI, you ought to be eligible for the death penalty. Now I know that in Saudi Arabia, if you steal something, they cut off your hand. I don’t advocate going that far, but I do think that there are folks out there who can’t be rehabilitated, and at some point, we should stop trying. How much of your hard-earned tax dollars is enough money to spend warehousing, feeding, and educating someone who raped 3 grandmothers? Personally, my answer to that is less than one red cent. There’s a bit that comedian Ron White does about the Texas state legislature putting in an “express lane” to the death penalty. The bit is funny, but every time I’ve seen him do it, rather than laugh, the crowd cheers enthusiastically. Makes ya think that maybe folks are more pro-death penalty than you think.

Oh, I’ve heard all the arguments about Illinois and their mistakes on death row. And the journalism students that totally exonerated a man on death row with DNA evidence. I’ve checked out The Innocence Project And yeah, there are definitely times when the cops and DAs and legal system get it wrong. But when it is YOUR kid or aunt or mother…I would want the maximum penalty. I stood in Barnes & Noble and then at a big box retailer that I don’t like to admit that I ever darken their doors and read most of Sharon Rocha’s For Laci while standing in the book aisle. In which she says memorably, “Divorce is always an option. Not murder.” The argument against the death penalty, of course, being that even if whoever murdered your loved one is put to death, your loved one is still dead. True story, as my sister often says. A friend of my DH’s died when I was about 22; she was only 26. She died as a result of horrible medical mistakes, and I didn’t know her parents very well at the time. I asked DH if her parents would sue the hospital and doctors who caused her premature and awful death. No, he thought, because they would say that it wouldn’t bring her back. He was right; they opted to not sue, although I thought then and still think now that they would have had an ironclad, watertight case. I’m digressing again. No, killing the murderer who took your loved one away does NOT bring them back. I know that. But I really think that if the death penalty were expanded, the murder rate would go down. In Sweden (here she goes again touting Sverige as utopia) if you drive drunk, you lose your license. Period. Forever. No “work and school privileges” no reinstatement fees and you get it back. Nope. Drive drunk, lose your license. Guess what their rate of traffic fatalities caused by drunk drivers might be. Just guess.

So that’s my take on the death penalty.

On to more usual fare....the Supreme Court sidestepped another Roe v. Wade case, for which we can all breathe a sigh of relief, but the thought occurs to me that eventually, they're going to stop sidestepping it, and step right into it.

Hope ya’ll are having a good one.

MLK Day

So if I still worked for that big ol' bank that I used to work for, I'd be off today. My mum still works for them and was rubbing it in that she's off...one of my sisters works in academia and the other one's still in school, so everyone but me is off today. Booo. I would definitely prefer to be doing what I am now to having MLK day and Columbus day and all the other silly little bank holidays off, but the downside is that I'm on call 24/7.

Anyway, hubby and I visited the NAIAS this weekend and had a blast. Detroit’s a pretty cool city, it turns out. Last year we stayed outside of the downtown area, but this year we stayed right across the street from the COBO center and had a nice dinner in Greektown...yum. Fishbones, baby.

If I wasn't so technologically challenged, I would take the pictures that I took on my cel phone of the concept cars and post them on the blog, but that takes more talent that what I've got. I brilliantly forgot my camera, which would have made the whole thing lots easier. Yes, I do manage some HTML here on the site, but moving pictures from my phone (that I am barely able to work at all!) to the hard drive of the computer is way too complex. Anyway. The funniest one was from Toyota, which looks to me like a little beaver. A check of Toyota's website shows it is called the Yaris. Here's a pic (bottom of the page.) Yaris Little eyes, nose, and one big buck tooth is what the front of the car looks like. Everyone I've shown the picture to agrees. And just what the heck kinda name is Yaris? Sounds like an old lady. You know, Violet and Carol and Yaris had tea yesterday. hehe.

A lot of the concept cars had these new cool seats, a lot like the Herman Miller chair for offices. And the new Pontiac Solstice!! Check it out here. The Solstice might be my next car if it weren't for the fact that Toyota's coming out with the Camry Hybrid, which I really really liked and I've wanted a hybrid since I worked for the bank and drove over 500 miles a week. Specs for the Camry are here

Ahh, cars. Such fun. Now on to more of the usual fare. I was ranting just last week about men and the abortion debate by saying, "Guys, you can't have a child. You don't get a choice." I've since had an occasion to reconsider; what do ya do when you want to have an abortion and your significant other does not want you to? Or when you want to have the child, and your S.O. wants you not to? I just don't know. In the end, I think each individual woman has to be the sole decision maker, and then the significant other, whether man or woman, has to just live with the decision. But that can really suck hard core. Any thoughts?

Philosophizing

I was reading another blog yesterday, by interweb friend Julia which really cracked me up. She was writing about the difficulty of finding and maintaining friends as an adult. We all have friends that we've known since we were 4 or thereabouts, but how many friends have YOU made since you left college? Me; maybe 3. And that's IF you count those casual acquaintances that you occasionally exchange e-mails with or if you run into them in a bar you'd stop to say, "What's up". Julia's a great writer, check her out. She always makes me laugh with her lightning wit. This post, though, was really timely b/c my best friend from high school and I had just been discussing this. What's a girl to do? Work really really hard at it, is all I’ve been able to figure out.

I was getting philosophical because I read Julia's posts all the time about her infertility, and I had another note from Rachel at NARAL.org where she was saying that 7 out of 10 hits she gets when she searches for NARAL lead her to sites that say anyone with any affiliation to NARAL are baby-killing whores. Egad. But then anyone who randomly reads my stuff and does not know me IRL might wonder why on earth I'd be interested in someone's infertility woes. So I thought I'd clear up my whole point of view on the abortion battle and where I stand politically.

Simply stated, I'm a liberal who believes in the death penalty, but nothing's ever simple, is it? OK, take it a step down from there. I detest our current president for many many many reasons, but the first one on the list is that the man can't SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH. I don't even have to post any "bushisms", I know you can think of at least half a dozen without my help where he has mangled the English language. He is at least smart enough to surround himself with very smart people, but I can't say that I see eye to eye with many of them either. Condee Rice, for a prime example, irritates me beyond words. Donald Rumsfeld, when he tells reporters at the Pentagon, "That's a stupid question." makes my blood boil. Next high on my list of reasons to dislike "W" is his faith-based initiatives. Hasn't he ever heard of separation of church and state??!?!? The country was FOUNDED on that principle. I never discuss my own faith...but a look at my links and you'll figure out where I fall on the religion thermometer. I was raised Catholic, and married in the Catholic Church. I don’t agree with very much of the Church’s teachings, such as a woman’s proper place, the inability of priests to marry, the fact that women can’t preach, their stance on abortion, palliative care, or right to die cases like Terry Schivo’s, but for better or worse, that’s my church. I’ve never found another faith that I feel as “at home” in, and believe me, I’ve looked. Ahem. I digress. My next item up for bid on the “Bad W” scale is his lack of regard for the federal park system. He’s eroded lots of protections that Clinton put in place for federally protected lands. Don’t get me wrong; I think Bill Clinton behaved reprehensibly while in office. I liked what he did as president, but hated the scandals. Then there’s the whole war in Iraq, which I don’t agree with either. You might think that would be first on my list, but it isn’t. I should perhaps have my own squad of the grammar police, because that’s more bothersome, somehow, than his propensity to declare war on small countries. (I never said I was completely sane…)

When September 11th happened, I called my family in Sweden to let them know I was OK. Yes, I live in Ohio, and none of the attacks happened here, but I don’t talk to them very often on the phone, and for all they know, I could be moving about the country at any time, or be anywhere. So I called to say, hey, I’m OK, and of course to sob to them what a horrible tragedy it was, because you’d have to be an idiot to have NOT been impacted by the attacks. I will never forget what my host mother said to me. “Do you think it will come to war”, she asked, so hesitantly. “Yes”, I told her, “I’m sure it will.” “But it won’t solve anything. It won’t bring them back. They’ll still be dead. Dropping bombs won’t change that.” She sounded so sad. You have to understand that the Swedes have neutrality in their very veins. Fighting, as far as they’re concerned, is NEVER the answer. And she is so right. All those very young US soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, all that’s done is brought more sorrow. It hasn’t made the world a safer place for Americans…on the contrary, the last time I was in Europe in 2003, I hesitated when someone would ask me about my accent (cause they know that I ain’t a Swede from the first words I speak, but they don’t know exactly what I is, either. My accent’s kinda f-ed up.:-) {grammatical errors intentional} to identify myself as coming from the US. If I thought that they’d get mouthy with me, I told them that I was Canadian. Add the fact that most of Europe is anti-Bush, anti-war, to the tidbit that my darling husband is a raging conservative and we NEVER speak politics except to disagree, and you have a fine recipe for a shouting match. Something to be avoided while I’m trying to visit my second homeland, cause I don’t get there too often.

I didn’t like when W started talking regime change, because that’s such a slippery slope. Do I think the world is better off without Saddam Hussein in power? Yep. But do I think that we ought to go about changing regimes all over the world that we don’t like? No. Let’s say that he next decides that he isn’t crazy about the German Chancellor. Or the president of Fiji. Who gets to decide when “regime change” is appropriate?

And then there’s the fact that he’s said he wants people on the federal bench who share his religious right leanings. The first time I got into an argument about abortion, I was 10. Someone I was in the 5th grade with thought that even in cases of rape or incest that abortion was still wrong. Don’t get me started about THAT one. But I have always thought that it is such a personal decision, that YOU can’t choose for ME. Faced with an unwanted pregnancy, I just don’t know what I would do. In my early 20s, well, I wasn’t sure then either. But now, I’m over 30, married, have a stable job, he does too, and I’d be less likely to NOT want a child. I just want to make the choice myself. There are so many children that I see through my work who are abused, or unwanted, that I think the decision to bring a child into the world should be a deliberate, conscious thought out procedure. In a perfect world. Hahaha. I think that there ought to be a test, that you should be able to care for a plant, then a pet, then maybe a baby. That you ought to have to take parenting classes. That you should at least get some instruction before you’re responsible for another human being. And if you give birth to your 6th baby that is addicted to cocaine, well, maybe you shouldn’t be allowed to have any more. The reason that I like to read about Julia’s infertility is that I know she’s a great mommy, and when I have bad work days, it is nice to see that there are still folks out there in the wider world who desperately would love to have a child, healthy or not. When I was 19, many moons ago, I had an OB/GYN tell me that I have endometriosis, and that I might not ever be able to conceive. If I do, by some miracle, it would be unlikely that I would be able to carry the child to term. At 19, that didn’t bother me much. It still doesn’t; after all, I’ve had 12 years to get used to the idea. And if I someday decide to stop ignoring the loud ticking of the biological clock, I may face some of the same ordeals that Julia has. That voice of experience counts for a lot. Plus, she’s really funny. And her super-precocious kiddo is a hoot to read about. I see no psychosis whatsoever in believing in abortion rights and hoping that someone I’ve never met succeeds this time in trying for another pregnancy.

A little bit like how I’m a liberal who believes in the death penalty. But that’s a story for another day. Cheers!