06 December 2007

Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker

I picked up a piece of candy off of a table at an event, those little generic M&M sort of things, chocolate, candy shell, mint flavor. After I popped it in my mouth, I realized that it was sure to be full to bursting of the sorts of things I usually avoid. High fructose corn syrup. Refined sugar. Artificial flavors. Artificial colors.

Really, the sort of thing I don’t eat at all anymore, not the sort of thing that I just avoid.

And it tasted disgusting. Really bad. Either I had forgotten that I don’t like those, or my taste buds readjusted, or something. If I hadn’t been at a work event, I so would have spit it out. I didn’t eat anything else at the rest of the event. I’ve taken to completely ignoring whatever food is served at holiday events that are catered, because it just isn’t worth it to me to eat it.

I had a similar experience with a Milky Way bar, and a 3 Musketeers. (These episodes were all several weeks apart, I haven't been going around noshing on candy.) I used to eat a lot of candy, all the time. Chocolate, mostly, but anything with sugar was OK. I have recently started to realize something; I was seriously addicted.

When I say addicted, I really mean it. I was addicted not only to food but also to sugar. Food used to really be a problem. I can’t eat just one Oreo cookie. I can’t eat just one French fry, or just one potato chip or just one anything, frankly. I hate to compare it to something as serious as alcoholism, but I think that it is a little bit like that. An alcoholic cannot drink just one beer; I can’t eat just one cookie.

For many obese people, food is a comfort. I don’t know if that was the case for me, I’m sure somewhere that figures in, but I really can finally recognize how self destructive, incredibly self destructive, my relationship with food was.

I still like chocolate. But somehow, I don’t enjoy eating it unless it is chocolate that I can actually understand all of the ingredients on the label. A good case in point for that is the fudge that I made with my niece and nephew last weekend. We used Baker’s chocolate, and there are no mystery ingredients in that stuff. I will eat squares of the semi-sweet to satisfy a chocolate craving. The other ingredients in the fudge were vanilla, marshmallow fluff, sugar, and water. OMG, I had to give it away because I couldn’t leave the stuff alone.

Typical, though, that my taste for chocolate has evolved in to stuff that is more expensive. There's a whole 'nother post in that, about how expensive it is to eat healthy food. Move up the scale, to organic, fair trade produced stuff, and it ties back to what I was ranting about recently; the obesity epidemic. Sugar-filled soda and "juice drinks" are cheap. Oh, you want "not-from-concentrate really from apples" apple juice? That'll be $78.34, please. Alright, I'm exaggerating, but you see my point.

Champagne tastes and a beer budget, of course, that's me.

Terribly unfortunately, however, I haven't lost my taste for booze or wine with my changing taste buds.


Dawna said...

That is something I (we,really, Hubster and I) have discovered a long time ago- the priceyness thing. Although I still think of myself as a carb addict (oh sweet sugars *drools*), my tolerance (or pickiness... whatever)for what I toss into my mouth has evolved. Perhaps I am taking a chapter out of your book?

When my fingers go to reach chocolate, it is FINE chocolate from Laura Secord or Godiva's or... you get the idea. Of course, it doesn't help that my will is weak.

But it absolutely no surprise that we are stuck in the downward spiral of poorer people suffering from obesity issues! Not only are the healthy activities more expensive, but the foods' health curve is astonishing. It blows my mind every time I go grocery shopping. I haven't been obsessive about it, but I find myself reading the ingredients list more often than not, and if I can't identify what the ingredient it- it gets put back. Oh, and if the first ingredient is sugar. *shivers*

Sorry for not blogging much lately, I just can't pull myself to do it. Had to up my attitude adjusters and hoping for the best. Stoopid season of useless stresses.

Lucy Arin said...

you've been on my mind, I was worried.

My stress is manifesting itself in aching shoulders and neck, the meds are level for right now.

sending virtual hugs!