She can't drive.....55

DH can not be in a vehicle that I'm driving without making some remark about my inability to drive. For the record, I am a good driver. I drive too fast most of the time, but we'll get to that in a second. DH likes to yell and fuss about things like "WATCH THE CURB!!!" and his yelling often makes whatever he thinks the problem is about 50,000 times worse, because the screaming startles me. I have been known to stop the car, turn it off, hand him the keys, and get out, rather than listen to one more second of his kvetching about my driving. It isn't that I'm a bad driver, it is that he's a control freak and does not like being a passenger.

I'm kind of on the defensive about this.

One day this week, I was headed to a meeting with a client, in the county north of my own. A roughly half hour drive, mostly freeway driving.

Can you see the ending here, already?

As I came around a bend on a connector between two freeways, sitting on a huge cement pad between the lanes was a friendly Ohio State Highway Patrol officer. I was driving 72 miles an hour. The speed limit there is 55 miles an hour. He tagged me at 72 only because I slammed on the brakes when I saw him; I thought he was going to pull out in front of me. Otherwise, he'd have probably gotten me for 80.

Oh-hia requires drivers stopped for moving violations to show proof of insurance; I can never find the damn card when I get pulled over. The officer went back to process the paperwork, assuring me that he would, "have me on my way quickly," which made me giggle. I think the point is to NOT be on your way so quickly, no? But of course I couldn't find the current insurance card in the glove box. Cards dating back to 2001 are in there; not any from 2005, 2006, or 2007. Fortunately, he let that slide.

When he handed me the ticket, after explaining how I need to call the court to find out what the fine is and that the fine is due by January 8th, he said, "I'm sorry."

When I had rolled up the window and drove away, I howled with laughter. He's sorry? He's sorry? He's sorry? Hm. If he is so sorry, why'd he give me the ticket? Or was he apologizing for catching me breaking the law? Or perhaps he's sorry that I broke the law. I'm not really sure what he meant, but it struck me as funny.

Here's the painful part. The ticket is going to cost me $114. Oh-hia-ia has a points system for traffic violations; twelve points and YOU'RE OUT! This ticket makes 4 on my license. I had another ticket in January/February of 2006, for driving 42 mph in a school zone, where the speed limit is 20 mph. When I get a ticket, I get a ticket. Your insurance rates are based on your driving record. Adding insult to injury, therefore, is the fact that my insurance rate will go up with this additional ticket. The fine is bad enough, but you continue to pay for it with the increase in insurance. Takes two years for two points to drop off.

There ARE days, even when you're not someone who suffers from depression, when you just ought not get out of bed.