06 February 2006

Thank GOD football's over!

I don't think I've ever mentioned how much I hate, despise and detest football. But I do. Despise it, that is. I can't even tell you how much. What a useless sport. In any other incarnation, linebackers would be fat, not athletes. I won’t even get started on the ridiculousness of the player’s salaries, because it will just make me mad and the goal of the week is to keep my blood pressure low. Way back in high school, I used to get annoyed with the money spent on our high school football team, cause they SUCKED ASS, and I used to ask the administration of the school the following question, which irritated them mightily. Please tell me which science lab or computer lab you've spent as much money on as that football field? Or as an alternative, which GIRL'S sport have you spent an equivalent amount? RRRGH, it made me so mad. Then at the Uni I attended, I found out that the money from every vending machine on campus (think about THOSE numbers for a sec) went to the football program. I stopped buying anything from them, of course. Damn football program didn't need my fifty cents for that candy bar that I didn't need in the first place.

I've gotta say, the school I attended in Sweden didn't have any of these issues. (Here she goes again, touting Sweden as utopia. It isn't, really, I know that, but some things that they do make so much sense.) In the Swedish school system, there are no athletics. Yes, there are gym classes, in fact I took 4 hours of GYMNASTICS a week as part of my course work, if you can believe it. (No, I wasn't this fat back then, I was in fantastic shape at 5'2" and 100 lbs even if I was flatter than a board, and no, I still couldn't get over the vault horse.) If you wanted to play soccer or baseball or basketball or volleyball, you joined a club. Yes, a club. Not located on school grounds, and the membership fees weren't out of reach for anyone, and pep rallies and taking a bye on a test because you had a game, and practice cutting into study time and all the other crap associated with being on your school's XXX team didn't ever even get into the front door of the school. I never missed it the year I was there, but that's probably mostly because I never met a team sport that I liked and wanted to play. I was a swimmer up until high school, and although there was a swim team I belonged to, it wasn't really about winning the meets for me. I was always more interested in how I did and if I placed. Was I self centered? Ah-huh. Yeah, but we've already previously established that 1. I'm a bitch and 2. I'm not ashamed of that fact.

So even though I hate the sport, did I watch the game yesterday? Yep. I went to friend Jen’s house, cause she had a party. I wanted to go, but that’s because I wanted to see and play with the babies, not because I had any interest whatsoever in the outcome of the game. I was in fact shushed a couple of times because I kept talking during important plays. Plus I don’t really understand the game all that well, so I always want to know why this and why that, and dedicated fans don’t understand how on earth I managed to grow up in America and don’t “get” the game. I really upset someone I used to work with at that big ol’ bank when he asked which team I was rooting for and I had to ask what sport the teams played. I told him that if the NFL, NBA, MLB, and NASCAR all closed up shop, I wouldn’t care one bit. He looked at me, aghast, and said, “But…but…the entire US economy would collapse without sports.” I disagree, heartily. The expression on his face was pretty priceless, so I counted the conversation as not a complete waste of time. :-)

I guess I really shouldn’t say that I “watched” yesterday’s game, because I talked through it while we were there, and we left the party before the game was over. Shortly after halftime, I told DH I was ready to head out. I was having a great time talking to some friends I haven't seen in a good long while, but I had a workout scheduled at 5.30 this morning (which I DID get up and do, thank you) and a big meeting today at work, so we left. Saying that DH really does not like the Steelers might be a vast understatement. He’s a Browns fan, and I think maybe he has been since he was about 8. So he didn’t mind that we left. He’s not pleased today that they won.

When I got to work today, the folks who are die-hards about the Steelers were annoying to me in their giddiness. I quote/paraphrase a bit from the Black Table here, “’WE’ didn’t win the Superbowl, the Steelers did. YOU sat on your ass and watched the game.” If it had been the Seahawks that won, they would have irritated me with their down in the mouth attitudes, so there is no winning with me if you’re a fan of almost any professional sport. What really irritates me though is the bandwagon-ing that goes on in the lead up to any big contest like the Superbowl, or the baseball pennant race, what’s-it-called, the World (not) Series. A sidebar rant here; how the hell can they call it the “World” Series when only 2 countries participate? Japan, Cuba, and plenty of other Caribbean countries all have HUGE baseball programs. But they don’t play in the World Series. Why not? Anyway, back to the bandwagon-ing. If you love a team, love the team. But don’t decide that you’re a fan of some team in the week leading up to the big game. Around here, there’s a whole lot of Johnny-Come-Latelys showing up as Steelers fans. Which couldn’t be more irritating. I’m not sure why it bugs me, Miss Non-Sports, but it does. Maybe because I allow things like that to get under my skin. I really hate that every meeting I’ve been in today has started out with a re-hashing of the salient points of the game. Scuse me ladies and gentlemen, aren’t we here to discuss something other than the game? You got the same e-mail that I did with the agenda for this meeting didn’t you? There was nothing in the agenda that said “discuss big dumb football game” was there? Just checking, cause maybe it was written in Steeler fan only invisible ink.

Then on every street corner and in all the stores, they’re selling Terrible Towels and other Steelers paraphernalia, from hats to t’s to sweats and other junk, and while I whole heartedly approve of the Yankee instinct to make a quick buck, I just know that most of the people buying the stuff never gave the Steelers a second thought until they went to the Superbowl. And they’ll never wear that stuff again until the next time the Steelers go to the Superbowl. Ya know? At least the Superbowl signifies the end of the pro football season for a while. Now we can all concentrate on what’s really important: hockey. :-) Happy Monday y’all!

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