22 April 2007

A Movie Review

What's next? It may be a sign of end times, first I write a sort-of review about an episode of Supernatural, and now I'm going to post a movie review? Well, all politics and no silliness makes for a dull Lucy, so why not?

DH and I went to see Redline on Friday night. My recommendation to you is to wait until it comes out on DVD and get it from Netflix. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't fantastic either. Here's a quick summation of the plot. Super-rich assholes stage completely illegal car races, betting inordinate sums of money on the outcome of said races. The races take place either in the desert, at abandoned airports, or at the end, in the middle of what you are supposed to think is Red Rocks. Or near Red Rocks. I think all they said about the location was "at Red Rocks." Anyway. By a fairly twisted and contrived storyline, the characters are drawn into the final race for one last showdown. The races, while completely illegal, have a huge following of the types of entourages you assume that actors and music moguls have. It is a bit tough to keep all the rich assholes straight, let alone trying to keep track of who is in which entourage.

Cops only show up once, at an illegal street race. There were some horrific car crash scenes, any of which would have been serious enough to have fatalities, and the racers not only could care less about loss of life that doesn't include the drivers, they seem to revel in the destruction.

The best reason to go see it would be for Nadia Bjorlin, a Swede, who is so incredibly beautiful that she shines from the screen. She's got these huge, huge expressive blue eyes that draw your gaze to her no matter who else is on screen with her. Supporting cast includes Eddie Griffin, Angus Macfadyen, Nathan Phillips (who I am compelled to note is very good looking, and an Aussie by birth, so mmmmm, accent), and Tim Matheson. They each were believable as the characters they played, Macfadyen doing a fantastic scary psycho, Phillips doing the heartthrob/hero/all around good guy, Griffin and Matheson doing stereotypical Hollywood archetypes, Matheson as a film/TV producer and Griffin as a music producer. Now that I know that Phillips is an Aussie (I didn't while watching the film) I have to say that he did a great job on the Yankee accent.

But whoever was in charge of costuming for this film had Bjorlin in clothing that her boobs were hanging out of, in almost everything she had on. It was distracting for me, and I'm not attracted to girls. If I was into girls, I'm fairly certain that I wouldn't have heard a word she said through the entire film. As it was, all I could think about was something Demain wrote on TWoP....which had me imagining that the boobs were talking, saying things like "Dude, we're really squashed here. Get us something more comfy, will ya? Would it kill you to wear a bra that wasn't killing us?" But then, cruising through paparazzi pics of her, looks like she wears that sort of thing all the time, so flaunt it if ya got it, I guess. Jealous, moi?

I could also rant and rave about the exploitation of women, because she was the female lead, and all other women in the film were also dressed as tramps, but I can't muster up the energy to care.

There were some awesome cars in the movie, oh, and a very cute boy who I thought at first was James Van Der Beek, but he turns out to be Jesse Johnson, son of Don Johnson of Miami Vice fame. Did I mention that Jesse's adorable? Young, but very pretty. They kept talking about how young his character was, but in reality he's about 25. I think we were supposed to think the character was 18 or so. They kept him dressed in layers upon layers of preppy boy clothes, and he had some of the coolest James Bond-esqe gadgets. But I digress. Let's keep the distractions of the male variety to a minimum today, shall we? OK.

Back to the car thing. I've always been a car girl, thanks to my dad, who is the original gear-head. So I thought it was really awesome that Nadia's character was the driving maniac and uber-gear head that she was. It wasn't that believable, but hey, what's a blockbuster movie for, anyway?

The theater where we watched the movie was playing Hillary Duff's "With Love" when we walked it, at such a volume that I could feel the pulses in the song in my chest. I was hopeful that the volume would go down when the movie started, but such was not the case. The movie was loud enough to blow your socks off. I take earplugs to the concerts that I go to in the summertime, hoping to forestall more hearing loss. Guess I'll need to start doing that for the movies as well, my ears were ringing when it was over. There were all of 4 people in the theater including DH and I, so I suppose I could have gone and asked the management to turn it down, but I did not.

We haven't been to see a movie for a good long time...I was surprised that tickets were $8.50 a pop. Certainly not worth the price, for this film.

No comments: