Retreat! Sound the retreat!!

On the phone with a friend the other day, I was discussing the possibility of a yoga retreat. There's someplace in Massachusetts, somewhere in the Berkshires, that she wants to go. Sera Gamble over at VHJ has me thinking about Esalen (funny, salen in Swedish is 'hall' or a common area; Esalen sounds like it believes big-time in sustainable community living. Nod and smile, folks, these are the connections my brain makes).

My yoga instructor, a serene woman who is mother of 4, has been pushing me to go and get my yoga certification, so I can teach classes. The first time she said it to me, I didn't believe she was serious, then I was really touched that she thought I was good enough to be an instructor, and then greatly humbled. She gave me a website for someone who does certification locally, and I promised to look into it. Months passed; she nagged me, and I'd say sure, I'll check it out, and then just....didn't. (I blame the depression, and laziness.)

When the calendar turned, though, I made it part of my plan for 2008 to actually get off my ass and get it done. I'm appalled to discover, though, that the certification process costs $1800. I dunno how expensive I was thinking it was going to be...but I haven't got a spare $1800 lying around. You apply to this program and give them a $1000 deposit; IF they accept you, you owe them another $800. If not, then they give you back your $1000.

Sure, the potential for making some extra money by teaching yoga kind of balances out the price tag, but in my hippy-dippy way, I kind of think as an instructor I shouldn't charge to share yoga with others; the benefits it has brought to my life are priceless, and karma demands that I pass that good fortune along. Or something.

Then there are weekend retreats where you can get a yoga certification. Those are all over the country, and pricey, too. Some of the retreats my gf was looking at are one price to attend as a student and another price to attend as an instructor. Ouch.

I'd love to tag along with my friend to the Berkshires; I'd like to go back to Lilydale, too. Esalen has over 300 programs that I'd be interested in. Unfortunately, not only do I not have the spare cash to do all of this (Esalen is waaaay expensive; Lilydale not so much) but I also don't have the vacation time to spare. Very unfortunately. Because I'd also like to get over to Sweden, visit the 'rents in Florida, the sisters in New York and LA, go with DH to a thing for his industry in Chicago, and then there's a con or two that I might be willing to sell my soul to get to. (Kidding! About the selling of the soul thing, not about wanting to go to a con. Or 3.)

And yet...how dare I whine about such things? I've a roof over my head, enough to eat, a life that is rich with friends and family. Are any of us ever satisfied with the lives that we've got? When I'm thinner, when I've got enough money, when I'm whatever, we say all the time. What about now? Is now good? Because blink, and you'll miss it, and ten years will have gone by.

Huh. Gettin' a wee bit philosophical today.

Listening to: Turn on your love light, The Grateful Dead, Live Dead, 1969