05 September 2007

Televisification

I hate the TV
I hate the TV
I hate the TV
I hate the TV
Y'know that its killing me
Y'know that its killing me
~The Violent Femmes, "I hate the TV," from the Add it Up album.

Yes, televisification is a made-up word. Just like Steven Colbert's "truthiness." I was thinking about that Tuesday while I sat in the doctor's office. By 'televisification' I mean the prevalence of televisions everywhere we go, from restaurants to bars to coffee shops to even the doctor's office.

This particular doc has moved offices since the last time I saw her, and her new office is nice and posh, with a fireplace in the waiting room, and a 45 inch plasma TV. I chose the only seat in the waiting room where you could not see the screen, but unfortunately, you could still hear it. A large sign on the mantle of the fireplace said, "Do Not Touch Controls (on/off/volume) for the Television." Well. Damn. That sucks.

This was my annual exam, so I'm not running in and out of this doctor's office all the time, but when I was annoyed at the noise, I realized that EVERY. SINGLE. DOCTOR. that I see has a TV in the waiting room.

The dentist? TV in the waiting room AND you can watch The View while they clean your teeth. Oh, the joy. I always make the hygienists shut the effing thing off, and they always think that I mean I want to watch another program, at first, until I clarify that no, I want the machine off, not turned to another station.

Dr. H, my family doctor? TV in the waiting room with a sign that says, "Can't hear me? Turn me up!" Arggh!!! They have it tuned to a doctor's office version of CNN Health, which repeats every 10 minutes, after a word from the drug-company-rep sponsors.

Even the shrink's office has a TV in the waiting room. Last time I was there, it was tuned to some Judge Judy-esque sort of program. Ick.

You wouldn't know it if you had started reading this blog in the dawn of 2007, but the truth is that with the sole exception of Supernatural, I despise television. With a passion. I always have. I wasn't allowed to watch much of it as a kid, and eventually, I stopped caring.

The national obsession with sitcoms, reality TV, the soaps, and talk shows makes me nuts. Read a book, FFS! Or a newspaper, or a magazine, or the comics, or.....

A friend told me about gadget that will allow you to turn TVs off surepticiously wherever you go. Called TV-B-Gone, it claims to work anywhere. Well worth the price tag, if you ask me! I've got mine on order.

2 comments:

Dawna said...

Holy TV bombardment Batman!

My GP's office has a tv, but it is always on mute. Odd, but hey, I am not complaining.

The dentist has a large plasma running a power point presentation (soundless) about all the cosmetic things that are available through his practice. No prices though, damn. At the hygienist's torture chair, there is a large monitor looming above your face on which you can scrutinize your dental history or your current xrays... that is SO cool.

Most places I go, yes they have a tv, but it is on mute with closed captioning, tuned to NewsNet, TheWeatherNetwork, or CNN.

I love it!

Lucy Arin said...

If the closed-captioning is on, and sound off, I mind it a lot less.

The hygienists watching it as they clean my teeth, though...no effing way.

My dentist also has that camera thingy where you can see your teeth on screen, and yes, that's cool. But watching Oprah or The View or any of the soaps...no thanks. (esp. since, y'know, there isn't anyone interesting on DOOL anymore. ^_-)