Anti-Climatic

I got to spend an evening in some relative warmth. When I landed in this southern city, it was 72 degrees, a lovely change from a foot of snow.

I went through a few hours of interviews and testing. It was a cattle-call kind of thing, there were 40 people there, some who applied and others who were recruited like me.

Now because I'm always purposefully vague about what I do for a living, I am not going to tell you the name of the company, but I can tell you that they told us over 75000 people have applied for 1400 positions. The 40 odd who were in that room made it through several cuts to score an interview.

They hired 4 or 5 people on the spot. I am extremely disappointed that I wasn't one of them. They told the rest of us that they will be in touch within the next 3-4 weeks.

What does that mean? Well, on the bright side, it means that they haven't said 'thanks but no thanks' to me. On the downside, which is where I am right now, this could be a kiss-off. I simply don't know.

I do know that I now want the job even more than I did before I came for the interview.

I am stuck in a loop of bummed out thoughts right now. What did I or didn't I do or say that I wasn't one of those lucky 4? Why wasn't I good enough? You'd have barely recognized me over the last few days, as I've been in this sort of state of giddy anticipation.

I was so sure that I was going to get it. So sure that I actually slept well last night in an anonymous hotel room, far from my own warm and snuggly bed and DH.

I know that tomorrow, it will be easier to be holding on to some hope, but tonight I think I will indulge in a good, mature pout.