06 March 2007

This Celebrity Obsession? Has. Got. To. STOP.

So I'm chatting online with the sister who lives in NYC and she casually mentions that she's changed her view of my avatar, which is of course a picture of Jensen Ackles.

"Awwww," I responded, "Don't you like my cute actor? What did you change it to?"

"Some pic of you from xmas," she says. "I don't like looking at the little boy."

And I feel a completely irrational stab of, not anger, no, but rejection. I type a response full of teen angst that says he isn't a little boy (he is around the same age as this sister) and he's cute (this is my avatar pic on Google Chat, and helloooo, that's hot!) and blah blah blah blah, but I don't get a chance to send it because before I can, she sends me a link to Social Explorer and I'm off to geek around the maps for about an hour. A.D.D.? Me? No, why do you ask? Ooo, look, something shiny.

When I came back and read at our conversation again, I felt a little twinge of irritation at myself, and I realized that this obsession of mine has perhaps become a bit silly. I've made a few new friends online over the whole thing, and I'm really happy about that. New friends are great, and the longer you're out of University, the harder they are to come by. So that is to be treasured. I've been having a lot of fun in the CW forums, and Sunday, believe it or not, actually had a conversation about liberal vs. conservative politics with the kids in my favorite thread on the CW board. Really! I know, I was surprised too. The main forum that I've been participating in, JRA Unlimited, has some really great women on it from all over the world. One of the admins is in Brazil, other members are in England, Australia, Germany, Canada, Spain and Portugul...and besides being free to be completely ridiculous fangirls there, we talk about lots of other things.

I wonder where the line between fan and nutjob is. How close am I to treading it?

I guess I'm trying to reassure myself that I'm not crazy by all this angsty ranting, and my rationale goes something like this..."If I was nuts, I wouldn't be worried about it. Therefore, since I am worried about it, I'm not nuts."

There's a trivia game on the Anything But Ordinary board that took up a big chunk of time for me on Sunday, searching for a line from a particular episode. I watched parts of two different episodes looking for "who said that line?" and then I watched another complete episode to find a line of my own that would be hard enough for others to guess. Now that, that is silly. I'll freely admit to it. Sillier still, probably, is that I was thinking about starting a thread just like it on JRAU. So I can play the game on TWO sites, y'all.

Maybe I need a version of a 12-step program..."Hi, I'm Lucy, and I'm addicted to all things Jensen Ackles, I've been an addict for about 2 months." Oh, wait, I there's a forum for that, and I joined it. Yeah. Oy! Sigh.

Someone help me.




AuthorM said...

If you've got the fever, I do too, and I'm about to turn 36. Never too old to have a crush, is what I always say! :)

M (perhaps not *quite* as obsessed as you, but I won't fight you for it)

Lucy Arin said...

Thanks. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only crazy fangirl over 17 out there.

And the level of obsession? Is very high. *sighs.* I keep telling myself it is going to go away....